8

merry christmas!

London was amazing, it is so much more christmassy there than singapore! I could really live there, and meeting my cousins there was brilliant so yay :) I have to go to sleep soon, so it will be quick. Hahahah , tomorrow off to Hongkong! With Lily! YAYYY, hahahah I've been looking to this for ages! :))))))) I haven't been talking to my friends lately, hmm. I kind of can't wait to go to school for them, I miss them lots and lots. NO BUT I HAVE MY PRESETATION, FUCK. Oh well :\ shan't think about that now. eww keegan! I have so much fucking work when I get back, it's not funny anymore.

Folie A Deux is out by the fallout boy! I love that album so much, hahaha ripping it off all over youtube. Can't wait till they come, please please lets go Jess!! Pete Wentz although I don't really like him haha. !!! excitement :D I think 2009 is going to be good. My parent's suck! Hahahah.. they didn't get my anything, but that's all right. I love them both most of the time, and they buy me stuff sometimes so its okayy. I went to London and fell in love with the Vespa all over again. They look so chic and so modern, I want to drive one so badly, or at least sit on one! Hahaha.

Went out with Jeffrey todayy, and we bought couple rings? Hahaha don't know about how I'm going to wear that in front of my mom, but its okay. I think its cute and i guess it's sort of been 6 months, with like a long break in the middle :\ my cousin thinks of it like that. 6 months is a long time.. haha and I find that kind of scary because it doesn't feel that long! :) shit and I have to get him his christmas present! I'm such a terrible person hahahaha.

oh baby, you're a classic. Like a little black dress

lovelove falloutboy!

MERRY CHRISTMAS! technically it's boxing day now, but who gives.

7

I haven't written for agesss, and my post before was such a downer! Must cheer up. It's now 11.11 and like Jacy always says, make a wish. Which reminds me that I have to re-add her. Ahh, Valerie.

Anyways, we're getting ready for london! I can't wait, I love love winter, but we're soo unprepared, like I don't even have proper shoes and jackets, so we have to buy it there. Not like I'm complaining. Can't wait to go there to like raid topshop, selfridges etc etc. And Oxford street, and Bourne Street for music sheets and saxophone accessories, ahhhh I really cannot waitt. Plus seeing my cousins are always good, I haven't seen them for ages. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to bring my computer there, because I really want to skype people from singapore. Ah well, like it matters now.

I've been sleeping so much now, I think when I'm bored or have nothing to do, I become sleepy and stupid haha. I really need to work harder! Seriously, like the first day we get back, I have a 12 minute (what a random-ass number) presentation on the themes of 1984. I mean, I love Ms Keegan and all, because she's so motherly, and it sounds really stupid, but she makes me at ease, and I feel safe with her :\ haha, but first day back is SUCH a drag, plus the biology test DIRECTLY after first period. SIGH. I honestly wish I wasn't SUCH a bloody loner in english class, and I can't help but feel like such a whiner about the english subject, but it's really bothering me and I feel like stabbing Duncker for putting me there, with her stupid reasons. Regardless, I hope she remains a spinster forever. Too evil.

Anyways, today I went with my mom (of all people) to watch Nick and Norah's infinite playlist. I really really liked it, the music was so fresh and indie, such a difference to the mainstream stuff. Plus I think Kat Dennings and Micheal Cera looks so much better than the pair in Juno.. I like the type of art there in the opening credits, if only! I could draw like that. Except, it was kind of awkward watching with my mom at certain parts where it got sexual. I guess we haven't reached that stage where stuff like that is open, and I honestly hope we never will.

I wish Antoine would shut up and stop screaming in French because no one gives a shit about his many problems with Duck. She's been having a rash lately, and her furs been falling out. But still! Yelling at my dog is not going to make hair drop less frequently idiot. I'm so glad he left to go first to Liverpool, but we'll be meeting him later. Ew.

Alot of my friends have left, like Valerie and Jess and Maribelle. Sigh, I miss them already! Hopefully in England, I get to meet Katy! Please please please. These last few weeks have been uneventful and boring, with the interruptions of my irritating sickness. Tomorrow, I'll go to Kinokuniya to pick out a book! I love these bookstores, with novels and pretty covers, they make me happy. I am so sad! Hahahaha. But I could spend ages there, and I really love the idea of reading in a warm cafe in the winter in London, or Liverpool. My cousin is telling me how he plans to play football with me and the family when we get to Liverpool, hah! I really don't think so. Anyways, I owe a call to Jeffrey. It's such a pain hiding him away from my mom, and the lenghts I have to go to make sure she doesn't find out. I wish she would mature and accept that I'm growing up. I don't really know how to broach the topic though..

I might get lazy, and not update in a while, but I've forgotten how nice it feels to write about everything.

Regardless, Merry Christmas everyone!

If I know you, I probably miss you now. :)

6

i'm rather scared now.. :\ because my dad told me that i should sleep overnight in the hospital to keep my grandpapa (nonno) company, but he's unconcious, and breathinng so noisily on the machine, because he had the repecussions of his previous surgery and i dont know, it's complex. still, its really creepy to be sitting her, alone since my mom left just now, and all i'm hearing is his breathing, and coughing. i told they i didn't want to stay here because i'm just freaked out, but i have to because i dont know, but this sounds really weird, i'm just afraid he might like pass away middle of the night, and i want to be with him when no one is, so i agreed to stay. yeah, i know we're not really allowed to stay overnight with patients, but this is my dad's ward, so i guess he can just do whatever the hell he likes hahaha.

so i can't really regret it now. i mean i love my nonno but this is like crazy scary haha. idk ill just stay on msn, and keep in contact with anyone who's online. and i dont know, i just feel bad, because like i kind of wanted to go with everyone else to tomoca's friend's party thing, and then after that sleep over at shirly's place, but i obviously can't now, and my mom sent me feeling terribly guilty, so i'm here. i can't say i exactly resent it, but currently im not exactly feeling excited about anything in the dark ( since they turned off the lights to help him sleep which makes no sense since he's passed out), but i know if i had gone out with them, and he got into a problem, i probably never could forgive myself, so i should be happy here :)

besides! i have internet access thank god! i wonder if i played happy music, like basshunter, would help hahahaa. i dont think the nurses would really appreaciate it if i had techno coming out of the room, THEY ARE SO MEAN! anyways. i hope you guys like sara tomoca and shirlz have fun there! :D

god, i've been having such a bad cold for the last few days. and today in history, i kept sniffing, and probably pissed sara off ( sorry!!) and like i couldnt wait for school to end just so i could go to the fucking toilet and blow my nose. i probably infected valerie during chinese class. today lao shi said something about how she wants a daughter more than anything in the world, but she can't have one. i found that kind of really sad.. sigh people abort all the time, and there will always be people like lao shi there wanting a kid. and at lunch, jeffrey was such a darling, going out to buy bubble tea for me. thank youuu cintacinta.

gosh, i'm incredibly depressing today! hahahah no. i shan't be, like XOC said today, ' cheer up, duck! its the long weekend.' he really has crazy eyes. sigh, sometimes you really creep me out.. but you're kind of nice to me so i cant really hate you. hahahaha and yesterday, me and JOSS had do sell food for the parent teacher's meeting, it was pretty cool, seeing all the teachers, and whatever. mrs keegan's so nice to me! sigh. she donated money. i should really try harder in her classes!

tintin is stupid. go and die HAHAHAH how come he's so rich? wth his money is in money which has credit cards inside. so basically his wallet is made out of money. i thought teachers were always poor ahhah, but apparently not. and when he left, he mouthed ' byebye', or so i thought, but joss said it means ill pass. then i thoughtshe said all the best and i was very happy. then she said he mouthed ill pass. WTH useless tin squared. anyways. haha ill do it with jess again, i find it cool. mr slliw is cool with his doorknob hands :)

i feel much better now, except there's always this weird clunking noise coming from my grandpapa. sigh, it makes me really uncomfortable to see him so weak. i just heard david cook come on my shuffle, and i think it suits nonno so well :) one day, i'll dedicate a post to him. nonno, not cook ahaha. it makes me smile.

try to leave a light on

when i'm gone

something i rely on

to get home.

and when its late at night

you can look inside

you wont feel so alone.

aids tomorrow! busy busy busy. i wonder how busy this weekend will be! last weekend before i go to london i think..? i can't wait, i hope my cold goes awayyyy. and dont come back another day.

5

it's december already! i love christmas, especially at marks and spencer's hahaha, they have special themed christmas foods, and they are so yummy, especially the snowball chocolates they have that my dad bought last week.

school's ending in two weeks, and i find it so hard to get into doing homework and such, i really have to change my attitude :\ because i have to do well! ahhhh. anyways sometimes i think i worry too much, but like things kind of work themselves out in the end, i guess. anyways, today i managed to skip english to go out and finally watch quantum of solace, ahaha and before the IQ test that we had asked me what QUANTUM was and i didn't know. it wasnt as good as i thought, and everyone was right in saying that it was confusing. OLGA KURELENKO whatever also wasn't as hot, and i preferred vesper so much more! and that james bond, idk he's like fucking superman or something, like he can break off door handles with his hands, and walk on the banisters like he's walking on level ground, then take out like 5 ARMED MEN in an elevator. wth. but still, it was nice spending time out of school with him.

anyways, i have an tok essay like pressing in my head, asking me what thought affects language, and i think it does but i dont have evidence! its so annoying when you know something but you can't prove you know it, so you kind of just have to say its intuition, but i dont think squidward would appreciate that. aww i shouldn't call him squidward, i like mr davies. but still he really really does look like him.

tomorrow school will be a drag, FINALLY completing my damn oral for chinese, and im scared out of my mind, doing whatever quadratic shit for maths, and the teacher cut his hair so yuck, he looks like wayne rooney, then biology!?!? i really hope our paper sets well, or i would cry. i feel terrible for not bringing the sieve for nabila and indri, but i really forgot and sunday was such a hectic day already. i think i might do a seperate experiment on paper at home if the school one doesn't work out. i still feel bad sigh. anyways.

i wonder who actually reads my blog, and i can't help but find it creepy and weird when people i dont really know read about this, and they find out about my live, because i never intended for this blog to become kind of personal which is kind of is now? and i can't really control it, but apparently there is a password pop up that you can install to protect your blog from unwanted readers, like tammie told me, and i might use that and give the password to people like jess, sara, tomoca and shirly and people i know, because they're the ones i care about, and wouldn't mind them reading. but i dont know if i can be fucked to do it haha, but as tomoca so kindly puts it, my life IS boring so maybe soon? ahhaahah i donnoooooooooooooo. :) whatever, i just find stalkers creepy.

i love chinese class now, lao shi is like insane or something, but her sound effects are brilliant but no one seems to get it besides me! how disappointing. with the 'zzzt' and the 'piupiupiu' how is that not funny! and its fun to plan things with valoz, like today we decided to become malay construction workers to irritate jacy who we kept calling boss. BOZ ahaha valerie i almost cried in chinese class.

actually, its weird, i mean im in grade 11 already, 3 years old i thought i'd be mature and completing my homework, doing extra credit work, community work, after school job, school team whatever shit, ahaha what a failure! i haven't grown up at all i think, and that's kind of worrying, but like my aunt said in the summer, ' cogli l'attimo, lettie' i hate how she calls me lettie, and all my cousin in italy call me that and wth nevermind! the point is, that we have to live in the moment, and who cares if i'm still immature hahaha, as long as i know when to grow up and be responsible.. and ' manage my time'. jesus my mother said that. its so scary.

ANTOINE IS BACK! which usually means dinner has arrived. i think it was the best idea that my mother started dating a chef. GOOD GOING. :)

wth, looking at the amount i've written, if only my tok went half as well!