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i'm rather scared now.. :\ because my dad told me that i should sleep overnight in the hospital to keep my grandpapa (nonno) company, but he's unconcious, and breathinng so noisily on the machine, because he had the repecussions of his previous surgery and i dont know, it's complex. still, its really creepy to be sitting her, alone since my mom left just now, and all i'm hearing is his breathing, and coughing. i told they i didn't want to stay here because i'm just freaked out, but i have to because i dont know, but this sounds really weird, i'm just afraid he might like pass away middle of the night, and i want to be with him when no one is, so i agreed to stay. yeah, i know we're not really allowed to stay overnight with patients, but this is my dad's ward, so i guess he can just do whatever the hell he likes hahaha.

so i can't really regret it now. i mean i love my nonno but this is like crazy scary haha. idk ill just stay on msn, and keep in contact with anyone who's online. and i dont know, i just feel bad, because like i kind of wanted to go with everyone else to tomoca's friend's party thing, and then after that sleep over at shirly's place, but i obviously can't now, and my mom sent me feeling terribly guilty, so i'm here. i can't say i exactly resent it, but currently im not exactly feeling excited about anything in the dark ( since they turned off the lights to help him sleep which makes no sense since he's passed out), but i know if i had gone out with them, and he got into a problem, i probably never could forgive myself, so i should be happy here :)

besides! i have internet access thank god! i wonder if i played happy music, like basshunter, would help hahahaa. i dont think the nurses would really appreaciate it if i had techno coming out of the room, THEY ARE SO MEAN! anyways. i hope you guys like sara tomoca and shirlz have fun there! :D

god, i've been having such a bad cold for the last few days. and today in history, i kept sniffing, and probably pissed sara off ( sorry!!) and like i couldnt wait for school to end just so i could go to the fucking toilet and blow my nose. i probably infected valerie during chinese class. today lao shi said something about how she wants a daughter more than anything in the world, but she can't have one. i found that kind of really sad.. sigh people abort all the time, and there will always be people like lao shi there wanting a kid. and at lunch, jeffrey was such a darling, going out to buy bubble tea for me. thank youuu cintacinta.

gosh, i'm incredibly depressing today! hahahah no. i shan't be, like XOC said today, ' cheer up, duck! its the long weekend.' he really has crazy eyes. sigh, sometimes you really creep me out.. but you're kind of nice to me so i cant really hate you. hahahaha and yesterday, me and JOSS had do sell food for the parent teacher's meeting, it was pretty cool, seeing all the teachers, and whatever. mrs keegan's so nice to me! sigh. she donated money. i should really try harder in her classes!

tintin is stupid. go and die HAHAHAH how come he's so rich? wth his money is in money which has credit cards inside. so basically his wallet is made out of money. i thought teachers were always poor ahhah, but apparently not. and when he left, he mouthed ' byebye', or so i thought, but joss said it means ill pass. then i thoughtshe said all the best and i was very happy. then she said he mouthed ill pass. WTH useless tin squared. anyways. haha ill do it with jess again, i find it cool. mr slliw is cool with his doorknob hands :)

i feel much better now, except there's always this weird clunking noise coming from my grandpapa. sigh, it makes me really uncomfortable to see him so weak. i just heard david cook come on my shuffle, and i think it suits nonno so well :) one day, i'll dedicate a post to him. nonno, not cook ahaha. it makes me smile.

try to leave a light on

when i'm gone

something i rely on

to get home.

and when its late at night

you can look inside

you wont feel so alone.

aids tomorrow! busy busy busy. i wonder how busy this weekend will be! last weekend before i go to london i think..? i can't wait, i hope my cold goes awayyyy. and dont come back another day.