17

I just realized, that this ring of my friend's blogs, help me really understand what they're feeling. Because school is such a shallow thing, I guess people put up fronts, which I constantly take as their true thoughts, and that's been so silly of me. I guess with realization gained from their blogs, I could learn to treat them better. For some reason, I think I've been drifting from them, the people I knew since GCSE, but I guess this is good, because I'll get a chance to know other people, if I can be bothered. But I can't help feel slightly upset because of the lost closeness we used to have, or if there was any to begin with?

God, I'm so glad that horrific week of non-stop homework and in-class essays are over! I know, these essays are meant to help me, but it's entirely difficult to think that way at 2 in the morning, or if your handing is screaming out for mercy in class.

Yesterday was funfun, with cooking class to begin with, which was such a nice change to a weekend. Its nice to know that you're actually doing something useful, that could actually help your later life, something... productive! Especially doing it with friends, it's always nice and fun haha. Then tika's party, which was allright, then after I went to jeffrey's house. Next week is our 5 months, but I have a vague idea of what to do now. It's funny, because when I do something, I feel like I've accomplished something, even if it's small and stupid, and it makes it okay if he hasn't done anything.

My maid just notified me she had facebook.. well I guess that facebook is actually accessible to everyone then ahahahah.

15

I wanna colour up!

Today was such a good day, with no AWWA, I shouldn't be terribly happy, but I am, and I bet so is Annie ;) I think she's the happiest of us all actually. YAYY.

Ah, lunch the table was so so empty, which felt kind of weird, haha, but it was good that Jess and Tomoka could finally go home for once. Haha, I still feel anguished that we chose a social service that prevented them to go home.. but little we can do for now.

Then after school, I actually intended to buy stationary at popular at novena, because it's all been strangely disappearing, and colours help me remember! But me and shirly, after giving in the Coriander cheque for cooking classes, which starts on 28th feburary (remember remember!), and we went to Kitty Palace, my goodness the place was packed with sanrio stuff! And everything was so cute!

Thenthen went to eat korean food at the korean level of velocity! AHHHH hamsang! So yum yum. Pity there wasn't any cold noodles that I liked, but I love their ikan bilis ahah and kimchi omnomnomnonon. Shirly looked so happy with her bibimbob?? ahah so cute, and I hope her mom liked what she brought back. Ah, I can't get over how lovely the food was. We should go there again yes yes :) bibimbob sounds like such a funny name to name food. Lets go to CHANGCHANG okayy! I'm so strangely excited by food all of a sudden.

What a nice day! Except I didn't get to buy my pens..but that's all right, I'll get them in the weekend. It made me forget about all the trouble English has been giving me, but I guess it will motivate me to prove her wrong. But I really like what we're studying now, it makes so much more sense to me, like it just clicks with me, rather than stupid math.

Why did they have to talk about EEEEEE!!! It worries me now! Gah.

14

I am so angry I think i might break a wall.
I don't even know what to write!?!?!? peibwhpbiehpishfhe die.

13

Goshh, I haven't written here for so long because I forgot my password to this hahaha. BUT not alot has happened, besides chinese new year and there's something I've meant to do for tammie.
It just struck me how much I've needed her all these years, when I've never realized it till yesterday, when she had left suddenly off msn. Then it hit me, how we've been in different schools for so long, and now she's just moved to the single best junior college here ( I am so incredibly envious and proud of her), and we're really moving on in life, and I can't seem to make it stop. I remembered when we were younger ( and so much more naiive!), that we promised each other that we would go to the same university - Cambridge none the less!- and go tour France since she's loved that country for ages. And I'm just so so afraid she would forget these things and leave, living her own life. Not that she belongs to me, but with friendship that has lasted so long, I can't help but fiercely protective of it. It's not like we were best friends, ever, but it's been something I can rely on, and has helped me grow innumberably. I've told her things I wouldn't have dared to tell any of my friends now, and through that grows some sort of guided confidance we have with each other, or that I have with her anyways. Her words to me, seem to be made out of the fabric that is meant to encompass my world, and it makes me wonder why I've taken so long to tell her this.

It's so funny to think how arrogant I've been, thinking that I didn't need her as much as she needed me, and how was disillusionment occurs, and leaves you with a hole. And now watching that Flash birthday card she made me on the computer (I couldn't even pass computer sciences!), it's made me sad, because I haven't done anything as sweet for her. Moreover, sometimes I haven't talked to her for awhile, and therefore conversations get strained and left hanging, which frustrates me. So I guess I'm writing this out of a guilty and nostalgic conscience. She's always been there for me, and I know she's one of the 2 people I can fully trust. From my ex-school, besides valerie, she's the only one I have living contact with, and surely that must mean that she is something to me. However, I'm not so naive to think that she and I will be best friends, and stay in contact forever, becasue surely we have to grow up ( although she's doing that alot more than I am), but since I've failed to cherish so much of our friendship for so long, and it's only now that I realized how much she has impacted me, and I can't help but realized I love her, and as a friend, she's one of the best ones out there.

because we all could use a little hope, you know? that feeling that everything is going to be okay, and trusting there's going to be someone there to help make sure of that. - one tree hill.

Uh, well parent's teachers meetings went okay I guess, my mother embarassed me as usual, but that is expected. Haha. But I look forward to going out tomorrow with good reason!