19

Friday was a much better day for me. I didn't get my results back for history, BUT when I went to the history office to get books for my IA, Ms Holdcroft happily told me that I got a 6 for my essay on Paper 1. I was so ecstatic, but I didn't show it because most teachers were there, so I replied 'Oh really?' Happiest 'Oh really' I ever said. But we still got our psych IA's back, I really don't get why I feel so happy whenever I finished a big project, and assume I'd done really well, only to find the opposite. Thank goodness this was only the first draft! I still have time I think..

Then after I went to Jeffrey's place to discuss this imminent thing. It went quite well, and we came up with a plan, that we should break up (what contraries) and go see what else is out there. I think this is important especially for him, after all he IS in the US. I honestly think, no matter how I dislike it, that we both should go date other people, UNFAIR that he will probably do that faster than me, because people here remain the same. Regardless, however if we felt the same, we would meet a year later during my summer break. I think honestly, that that sounds like the best plan so far yet, and probably the one I most hate. Yeah okay, so we take the year to get to know other people, but I'm not as good as him in doing that, and I don't know if I should wait for him, or get on with it. And promising to meet in the summer of next year sounds so reckless, if we have not been talking. I don't know, we can iron out the kinks later. Then he showed me a song that used to remind him of me, and we got irrevocably sad. I don't know why sometimes I don't cry infront of him, when he's the only one that can comfort me.

I like blogs, in the sense where they show you what people are thinking, so here goes: I'm really grateful to lily, tomoka and shirly ( and somewhat pandit :\) for talking to me through this. I'm really the worst person to talk to when I'm upset, and I really appreciate that you guys were there for me since I don't really tell this to alot of people :)

I wonder if any of them actually will see this lol.